The Holy Grail: Motivation
We’ve all got to start somewhere, and I thought it would be appropriate if my first post were about motivation. I’ve been thinking about what to write about, thinking I don’t really have time right now and that unless it’s a literary masterpiece it’s not worth doing. Basically I’ve fallen into all of the no-motivation pitfalls that I’m going to talk about today.
What is motivation? It’s getting moving, changing behavior, doing something. We all whine on a lazy Saturday that we’re just not motivated to…go for a walk, do the laundry, wash the dog, make dinner, go to the gym…you name it, we’ve all felt a “lack of motivation.” So what do we do about it? Here’s a list of common reasons we aren’t “motivated” or “urged on toward action” and some ideas for addressing them.
1. All or nothing thinking. “It’s not worth my time to go to the gym if I can only go for a half hour. I woke up late, have an appointment and don’t want to do half of my workout.” Or, “Unless I can make a perfect meal, it’s not worth my time to cook. I’ll just hit the drive thru and call it good.” But think about it, is it worth it? How can you get past that way of thinking? I’d say that burning 250 calories at the gym is better than burning none sitting on the couch. I’d also argue that a turkey sandwich and an apple is a better meal than a double cheeseburger and fries. Find ways to allow “good enough” into your life. One thing I say to almost anybody who asks me for advice is this: What would you say to a friend? What would you expect of her? Yes, we can have high expectations of ourselves, but we must be kind to ourselves as well. By expecting perfection we set ourselves up for failure.
2. Ruminating. Thinking and thinking and thinking and coming up with excuses and getting ourselves all worked up instead of following Nike’s words of wisdom to “Just Do It!” does not get us where we want to be. I’m sure you’ve had those days when you have so much to get done that you just jump in and do it. A day of cleaning the house or organizing the garage is done in half the time because you didn’t think, you just did. Maybe you don’t ruminate about cleaning the house, but you do it about exercise…What will I wear, I hate it when I forget my water bottle, did I charge my iPod, those shoes gave me blisters last time, will I look like an idiot, I don’t want to be stiff tomorrow, what am I going to do today anyway…
This is actually where creating a habit comes in handy. Habits are incredibly useful little creations that our minds make. Imagine how overwhelming life would be if we had to think about tying our shoes the way we did before it was a habit, or if we had to look at the keyboard every time we typed, or had to concentrate on driving like we did in driver’s ed! Life would be unmanageable. Habits are learned actions that allow us to do things rather effortlessly and, when they’re good habits, allow us to become healthier without having to think too much.
So if you want to create the habit of going for a walk every day after work, put your walking shoes by the front door and put the dog’s leash and your iPod on the side table so you’re reminded of your plans when you walk in the door. Or set a daily alarm on your phone or computer ten minutes before your lunch break to remind you about your daily walking date with your co-worker. Trust me, after a while you won’t need to put the leash out (in fact the dog may develop the habit too and become a gentle reminder by jumping all over you) and you won’t need the alarm set (although I hope the co-worker doesn’t jump all over you!)
3. Making the decision to change. I know, it seems self-evident and obvious and so very, very basic, but it isn’t. Think about it, do you need motivation to go to work? You may not love it, you may have a bad attitude, but you’re going to do it no matter what. You decided a long time ago that going to work was what you were going to do. It’s like feeding your kids or going to church or taking out the garbage. OK, so there are some rather malodorous, financial and screaming children kinds of consequences for NOT doing those things, but you’re still choosing to do them.
People who study this stuff will say that lack of motivation is merely ambivalence. Meaning, we’re not doing something because we haven’t made up our mind to do it! Why would you possibly be ambivalent about losing weight? Being thin and healthy is a no-brainer, right? Except that it’s not. We’re still undecided about what’s more important, having these potato chips or suffering horribly by having to watch House without them. I’m often undecided about whether I’m going to get up and go to the gym or if I’m going to lie cozied up to my husband when my alarm goes off. By recognizing that it’s indecision not “lack of motivation,” I am empowered to change my behavior by making a choice.
4. Setting realistic, measureable goals. The last thing I’m going to talk about today is goal setting. Saying, “I really SHOULD go for a hike instead of watching the Law and Order marathon,” is not a goal! Sometimes we think of it as a goal, but mostly it’s just a way to talk ourselves into a hole and feel like crap because we start to believe that we’re unmotivated and lazy.
I like SMART goal setting. S is for Specific, M is for Measurable, A is for Attainable, R is for Realistic and T is for Timely. “I’m going to get my butt off the couch more” is not a SMART goal. Perhaps it’s realistic, but it doesn’t meet any of the other criteria. “I’m going to eat 800 calories per day” is not a SMART goal either. It’s specific and measurable, but it’s not attainable, realistic or timely. Let’s create a SMART goal about limiting calories. “I am going to cut 300 calories per day by drinking Crystal Light instead of Dr. Pepper for one month.” This is a SMART goal. It is specific because it defines how I’ll achieve it, it is measurable because I have defined the calories and how I will do it, it’s attainable because it’s a choice I’ve decided I can live with, it’s realistic for me because they have Crystal Light at the same place I usually buy a Dr. Pepper and it is timely because there is an ending time when I can reevaluate the goal or create a new one.
My best to you with your efforts to lose weight, gain perspective, increase your activity and improve your lives.
May you be happy and healthy,
Regan
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