“Intuitive Eating” Make Peace with Food
I’m skipping over two of the principles of Intuitive Eating, but I will get back to them. I want to talk about this principle because even if you’re not a “dieter” looking for the next quick fix or you’re not see-sawing between starving and over-stuffed, it is still valuable advice. I also want to discuss it first because it can be a huge relief for people. The third principle of Intuitive Eating is to “Make Peace with Food.” The authors say this, “Call a truce; stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat.” (pg. 74)
Yes, this means that you give yourself unconditional permission to eat.
For many people this is a terrifying prospect because they don’t trust themselves and are certain that being allowed to eat whatever, whenever will result in weight gain, bingeing and misery. What is meant by giving yourself unconditional permission to eat?
- Throwing out the preconceived notion that certain foods are “good” and others are “bad.” No one food has the power to make you fat or help you become slim.
- Eating what you really want. Yes, what you want.
- Eating without obligatory penance. (”Okay, I can have the cheesecake now, but tomorrow I diet.”)
By allowing yourself to eat what you want, you avoid that “last supper mentality” that often precedes a “diet” and foods that were once “forbidden” are no longer as enticing because you’re allowed to eat them.
There are loads of studies and evidence that show that by restricting eating, people start to obsess about food, dream about food and ultimately overeat when finally allowed to eat what they want. Often times people who grew up in the Depression see food as precious and something that may not be available again so it’s seems more valuable than it is. Growing up in a home where food was scarce can cause thoughts of deprivation. Feeling it necessary (or perceiving it as necessary) to compete for food can cause thoughts of deprivation too. Have you ever noticed how quickly you “chow down” on a dessert that you’re sharing with someone who eats faster than you? Nobody wants to be that person who doesn’t get a piece of birthday cake! Except the Intuitive Eater who allows himself the food he wants to eat.
Do you see-saw between guilt over “eating bad” and deprivation over “eating good”? When you restrict foods during a diet do you feel virtuous and as you eat those “good” or “diet” foods and then feel guilty when you eat the “bad” or “restricted” foods that you really want to eat? What if you embraced the concept that no foods are off limits? Would those feelings change? Can you see food, dieting, weight loss as something that is neither moral or immoral? I’m saying throw out the idea of making good choices or bad choices and allow yourself to believe that eating what you want to eat is just fine, in fact it’s better than “just fine” it’s the way to find peace with food and with your body.
So you say you’ve tried this before but you still feel like you felt out of control? The authors of the book say they’ve had clients who said they gave themselves permission, but were really only giving themselves “pseudo-permission.” (pg. 87) In other words, there was a sense of temporarily allowing those “forbidden” foods into their diet. I like how they say this, “Pseudo-permission does not work–it’s only an illusion. Your mouth may be chewing, but your mind is saying, ‘I shouldn’t.’ Your mind is still on a diet.” (pg. 88)
In my next post I will talk about the things that can keep you from allowing yourself uncondtional permission to eat.
May you be happy, healthy and peaceful,
Regan
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