“Scream a loud ‘No’ to thoughts in your head that declare you’re ‘good’ for eating under 1,000 calories or ‘bad’ because you ate a piece of chocolate cake.  The Food Police monitor the unreasonable rules that dieting has created.  The police station is housed deep in your psyche and its loudspeaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments.  Chasing the Food Police away is a critical step in returning to Intuitive Eating.”  (pg. 92, Intuitive Eating)

From my day-to-day interactions with clients, I know that people are riddled with guilt about how they eat, but according to Tribole and Resch, “In a random survey of 2,075 adults, 45% said they feel guilty after eating foods they like!”  (pg. 92)  How is it that food has been equated with “badness” or “goodness”?  Is it the Puritan values that our country drew from and was built upon?  Other countries don’t seem to have this same “guilt” issue about food.  In fact, when Americans are asked to think of the first word that comes to mind when they hear the words, “chocolate cake” they say, “guilt.”  The French think, “celebration.”  We keep trying to figure out the “French paradox.”  I suspect a huge part of it is simply perception and being “allowed” to enjoy food and celebrate it.  We’ve heard of people being punished by having supper withheld and we think of a meal of “bread and water” as being punishment for bad behavior.  Whatever the reasons that our culture tends to equate food, or enjoying food, or delicious food with guilt, it’s time to fight back and take a different approach to food and eating.

How can you start to take a different approach to food and eating?  First, become aware of your instant self-talk when it comes to food.  I am going to list some common misperceptions, THESE ARE NOT ACCURATE, but they’re common and I want you to see if you say some of this to yourself.

–Fat is bad

–Carbohydrates are bad

–It’s bad to eat after 6:00 pm

–Eggs are bad

–Ice cream is bad

–All of the things that I like to eat are bad

What other self-talk do you have about food?  It may feel real, you may believe it with all your heart and soul, but remember, simply because you think something is true doesn’t make it so.  The book explains it clearly, “The thoughts themselves can be very damaging and can affect subsequent behavior.  These thoughts are called cognitive distortions, and we call the voices that speak these distortions the Food Police.”  (pg. 95)

Let’s talk about the Food Police.  I can’t say it better than the authors so I’ll quote, “[The Food Police] is your inner judge and jury that determines if you are doing ‘good’ or ‘bad.’  The Food Police is the sum of all your dieting and food rules, and gets stronger with each diet.  It also gets strengthened through new food rules that you may read about in magazines or messages you hear from friends and family.”  (pg. 96)  The Food Police doesn’t help you, it merely makes you feel bad.  It tells you that “you can’t possibly be hungry, you just ate breakfast,” or, “I can’t believe you just ate two pieces of bread/a piece of chocolate/guacamole/peanut butter, you’re going to get so fat from that!”

To get the Food Police to SHUT UP, you must challenge that voice inside your head.  You must say, “I know what hungry feels like, and even though I just ate breakfast, I am hungry now,” or, “Avocados are good for me, taste delicious and make me feel satisfied,” or, “Chocolate isn’t going to make me fat; one food doesn’t have the power to make or break my health.”

Who else works with the Food Police?  The Nutrition Informant, or as I like to refer to the voice, the Tattletale.  It says it’s looking out for your health, but it’s just tallying all of your “sins.”  It’s the voice that says, “If you want a snack, it should only be fruits or vegetables.”  The Nutrition Informant is tricky because most of us DO want to eat a healthy diet so it seems silly that we’d want to fight against that good advice.  But is it good advice?  When it comes to having an apple as a snack, that’s OK, right?  Sure, but know that a 75 calorie snack is going to put a little something in your belly, but you’ll probably be hungry again soon.  The Nutrition Informant insists that “you can’t possibly be hungry after eating that apple for a snack.”  The Nutrition Informant doesn’t tell you that a peanut butter sandwich or cheese and crackers or some bean dip with crackers are all healthy foods too, and they’ll actually satisfy you.

What can you do to fight the Nutrition Informant?  Turn it into the Nutrition Ally.  This voice has no hidden agenda and says, “I like low fat sour cream just as much as regular fat sour cream.  I think I’ll pick the one with less saturated fat.”  When the Nutrition Ally speaks, you don’t feel bad or guilty, you feel like you’re in charge.

What other voices are floating around in there?  There’s the Diet Rebel.  You know that voice, it’s the two year old in your dieting head screaming, “You can’t make me!”  It’s the voice that says, “I’m not going to eat ‘healthy’ fish, I’m going to eat deep fried pork chops covered in gravy!” without even checking with your gut to see what sounds good.  If you want deep fried pork chops covered in gravy, that’s fine, but when you’re rebelling against your self-imposed (or spouse-imposed or parent-imposed or Dr. Diet-imposed) rules, you’re not listening to what your body really wants to eat.  The Diet Rebel makes your food choices based on what you CAN’T have rather than on what you truly want to have.

What can you do to fight the Diet Rebel?  Turn it into the Rebel Ally.  Use that loud, strong voice to protect your boundaries.  The Rebel Ally will let you say to your sister, “Yes, I can have dessert if I want it,” or, “That meatloaf was delicious, Mom, but I really don’t want a second helping right now,” or, “Sarah, the size of my jeans is none of your business,” or, “Joey, you have no right to comment about my weight.”  (pg. 101)

There’s another voice that the authors call the Food Anthropologist.  This voice just pays attention and gathers information–WITHOUT JUDGMENT.  It’s the voice that says, “I am really hungry today, but I just ate food that would normally fill me up.  Oh, that’s right, yesterday I had lighter meals and went for a long hike.”  The Food Anthropologist can use a food journal, but you must be careful not to use it as a way to judge or convict yourself of your food transgressions.  The Anthropologist’s food journal is merely a collection of facts that can help you sort through your skewed thinking.

When my clients first come to see me, I tell them, “In here it’s a safe place where I expect you to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend, a stranger or a lost puppy.”  In other words, I expect and hope my clients can use what Intuitive Eating calls the Nurturer.  This voice is calm, gentle and kind.  It may be new to you.  The Nurturer says, “It’s OK to have nachos.  Eating nachos is normal.”  This voice will say things like, “If I have a cookie it doesn’t mean I’m bad, it also doesn’t mean I can’t lose the weight I want.  Cookies are one of my favorite things so I will never cut them out of my diet completely.”  The Nurturer is reasonable and patient.

Finally, there is the Intuitive Eater inside of each of us.  ”The Intuitive Eater speaks your gut reactions.  You were born as an Intuitive Eater, but this persona has probably been suppressed for most of your life by the voices of the Food Police (prevailing in your family and in society), the Diet Rebel, and the Nutrition Informant…it knows how to challenge the distorted messages of the Food Police and how to get the Rebel Ally to speak out loud to fend off the boundary invaders.” (pg. 104)  The Intuitive Eater wants to know what you’re hungry for, it tells you it’s OK to leave food on your plate, it makes you understand that it’s normal to eat and enjoy chocolate.

The book suggests some self-talk strategies for challenging the Food Police.  In my next post I will discuss some of their ideas and recommendations.

May you be happy, healthy and listen to your gut,

Regan

Guilty:  having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong.

Guilt:  a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some real or imagined offense, crime, wrong, etc.

Too many people I talk to about weight loss, food, body issues, disordered eating feel “guilt” after eating.  Perhaps some foods don’t induce guilt (broccoli and cabbage tend to be “guiltless” as do other cruciferous vegetables.)  But so many people I talk to  have guilt after eating ice cream or carrot cake, some people have guilt after eating fast food, others after eating meat (and not for humanitarian reasons, for “diet” reasons.)  Then there are the feelings of guilt from eating healthy foods that should be a big part of a healthy diet:  bread, pasta, dairy, fruit, nuts, avocados, carrots, corn, peas.  You name it, it makes someone feel guilty.

I’m not a priest or a therapist, but people still talk to me about their [perceived] transgressions.  I can’t change their feelings, but I can try to help them recognize what they are when it comes to food.

I understand the regret after having overeaten to the point of discomfort.  I understand the frustration at having eaten something that didn’t taste very good.   But food is amoral.  To truly heal from feeling bad about food and to get  to a healthy relationship with food, it’s necessary to find a way to untangle the thorny vines of emotions that surround food, eating and our bodies.  I’ve heard one dietitian who works with clients with eating disorders say that the feelings associated with food are already there before you start eating.  People don’t eat then feel guilty, they feel guilt (shameful, offensive, unworthy) before they eat; the food just allows those emotions to surface.  Maybe you know someone who feels guilty after spending money even if they need the item and can afford it.  Same thing, the emotion is just related to something else.

I was reading May, 2010 issue of “O” the Oprah Magazine.  Love, love, love the magazine, sometimes Oprah makes me want to staple my ears shut, but that’s beside the point.  What I came across was a column (pg. 80) by Marianne Williamson about ten ways to stay spiritually connected.  She says this,

“Forgive anyone you have not forgiven.  Whenever you withhold forgiveness, you keep yourself bound to your own feelings of guilt.”

I’m not sure this statement is sometimes true or always true, but it rang true to me.  It also reinforces the commonly held idea that forgiveness is not for the person who wronged you, forgiveness is for you and allows you to be free.  I don’t see forgiveness as a religious pursuit; it’s necessary for anyone who wants to feel sane!  Forgiveness is a process of letting go, of releasing, of unburdening one’s self.  You may do it on your own, with a religious leader or with a therapist.  (I’m telling you, if you’re constantly overeating, losing weight and gaining it back, feeling guilty, shameful or not knowing what you’re feeling, it’s time to get a therapist to help you get through, get over, get past, get around, get unstuck.  And your mother/husband/friend/sister doesn’t count as a therapist!)

You deserve to feel good.  Perhaps that’s the starting point, the “A-ha” moment when real healing can begin.  And maybe at this point in your life you have to take that on faith because you’ve felt bad for so long or you’ve been convinced that misery, shame and discomfort are what you “deserve.”  Not true.  It is absolutely possible to get past the feelings of unworthiness, guilt, shame and loathing associated with what you eat and how you look.

May you be happy, healthy and free from your chains,

Regan

The problem comes when a person always or almost always eats in response to emotional hunger and/or when a person consistently eats beyond her satisfied or comfortably full level.  Having food as the only way to soothe emotions during difficult times is a recipe for an unhealthy and unnatural relationship with food and a battle with being overweight.

WHAT TO DO?

First, recognize that the food is the coping mechanism, not necessarily the problem. You don’t have a “food addiction” (uh, we all have a “food addiction.”  Wanting food is one thing that allows our species to exist) you have emotional stressors that you’re not dealing with/not recognizing are there/afraid to face/not able to face yet.  The emotions are there, you’re just doing a really bad job of covering them up.

Second, recognize that you don’t have a “fat” or “overweight” problem either.  If you’re an emotional eater, you’re not going to solve those emotional problems by losing weight.  It sounds so obvious when you read it, but anyone selling the latest diet product is trying to convince you that weight loss is going to fix those problems.  If you hate your job or are in an unhappy marriage, being thin isn’t going to fix it.  Remember, being overweight is a symptom that you’re eating in response to cues other than biological hunger.  It is not an indication that you are a bad/lazy/worthless person.

Third, recognize the emotions.  Factually, objectively look at what you’re feeling when you eat in response to emotions. Are you scared of a presentation you have to do at work?  Are you “bored” at work but actually dissatisfied with your career?  Do you need more affection from your spouse?  Are you angry at your children?  Are you lonely? Scared?  And remember this, “anxiety” is not an emotion.  Fear is an emotion. Happiness is an emotion.  Sadness is an emotion. Anger is an emotion.

How do you work through it?

You can sit with the emotion and just let it pass.  Don’t go for the potato chips or extra helping of meatloaf just yet, take a break and just feel what’s happening to you.  You can eat in a few minutes if you want to, but it’s pretty important to start recognizing what the uncomfortable feelings are that you’re eating in response to.  Just BE for a few minutes.

You can write down what you’re feeling/thinking/imagining.  When we talk about journaling, many people think they have to sit down, date the top of the page and then write really deep, inspiring, rambling entries.  Don’t try to do that, just jot down thoughts, words, sentences.  I keep a little notebook in my purse so when I’m overwhelmed by an emotion or thought, I can scratch it out.  Lots of times I end up scrawling a page or two, but just putting pen to paper provides a release and a way to identify my emotions.

You can exercise.  Really?  That sounds like such a “diet mentality” sort of thing to do. But you’re not going for a walk to burn calories or to strengthen your heart, you’re going to breathe and to get some of the anxiety and crabbiness worked out.  You know the old adage, “What a difference a day makes.”  Well, I’m convinced that there’s truth to, “What a difference a walk makes.”  Remember, physical activity doesn’t GET RID of the stressors, but it does lower the stress hormones that make us feel the need to fight or flight and it also knocks the stress down to size.

You can talk to someone whose job it is to listen to you.  For some people talking to a friend can work.  I find that I need a totally objective person whose job it is to just sit there and encourage me to spill my guts.  When I talk to friends about stuff I tend to just get myself even more worked up.  I know many people are leery about talking to a counselor or therapist, but for people who have chronic stress, are emotionally “jammed up” or are often the caretakers of other people, sometimes the only way through the emotional maze is by talking to a professional.  And the thing about a good therapist is that they don’t allow, much less encourage you to dwell on “crapola.”  It really isn’t the old Freudian, “Tell me about your mother” bit.

And finally, if you’re dealing with big scary issues like physical or sexual abuse or post-traumatic stress disorder, a therapist can be a lifesaver.  Sometimes you have to take a big leap of faith to start talking about the skeletons in the closets, but know you’ll be a healthier, happier person for it.

Remember, emotions are normal, don’t try to get rid of them or hide them in a bucket of ice cream.  Being frightened or nervous doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re human.  Feeling angry doesn’t make you a bad person.  You have the ability to work through them without using food.

May you be happy, angry, sad, scared and live through it all,

Regan

Plan your workout

Don’t show up and “wing it” until you feel confident to do that.  Make a plan for the week. When I’m not very motivated to go to the gym, I still do this.  Right now my gym exercise is Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  (I also do “non-gym” exercise.)  I do 30 minutes on the elliptical and then I do about 30 minutes of weights. Monday I did biceps and triceps, Wednesday I did chest and back and today I did shoulders and legs.  I also do abdominal exercises each of those days.   Yes, I should have had one more day of legs, but I didn’t.

As you’re starting out, you may want to make a list of the exercises you are planning to do so you feel more confident and like you’ve accomplished something when you’ve finished.

Understand, believe, KNOW that no one gives a crap what you’re doing at the gym

I get that it can be a little intimidating and you can feel self conscious.  Don’t.  I don’t have a magic solution to this, but it’s like anything else in life, the more you do it, the more confident you become and the less uncomfortable the whole situation is.  The discomfort and self consciousness will wane.  For now, live through it.

Don’t waste your time

If you have a half hour to go to the gym, use it wisely.  Don’t stand around waiting for a certain machine to be free, go use a different one.  Don’t give yourself a minute break in between exercises, go do a different exercise that works a different muscle.  I’ll give my shoulders a rest by doing crunches or leg extensions (or vice versa.) You can see why planning (my first recommendation) is a good idea.

Don’t waste your time

I’ll say it again!  If you’re able to chit chat on your cell phone, you’re not working hard enough.  Don’t waste your time by not giving yourself a good work out. Some of you (hey, ladies!) are still worried that you’re going to bulk up.  You won’t, can’t, will not.  BE SURE TO LIFT HEAVY WEIGHTS.  Here’s a question, “How much does your toddler weigh?”  I can see that you’re all bulked up from carrying him around.  Oh, you’re not?  If you’re there to lift weights, be sure you’re lifting enough to make it worth your while.

Be prepared

Have a water bottle, have a towel, bring your iPod, pack your weight lifting gloves.  You can keep a pre-packed gym bag in your trunk or by your front door.

Try something new

Hire a personal trainer, get on the rowing machine, go to a yoga class, try out spinning (that’s a cycling class in case you didn’t know.)  Be daring!  Get in the pool.  For people who are quite overweight or who have joint pain, the swimming pool is a great place to start.  It’s kind to your joints and once you’re in the water, no one can see you!

May you be happy and healthy,

Regan

So why do so many people assume they can get their best nutrition and weight loss information from someone whose job it is to do something else?

1.  Personal Trainers. A personal trainer’s job is to teach you how to exercise and to motivate you to get stronger muscles and a more efficient heart.  Yes, increasing your exercise will also help you lose weight, but they don’t specialize in weight loss or nutrition.  I’ve taken and passed one of the most difficult personal trainer tests out there and it made sure I knew how many calories are in a pound and it made sure I knew that clients should eat a meal or a snack after they workout, but that’s about all the information it required me to know about weight loss and nutrition.

If a personal trainer is going to motivate you to show up to exercise, that’s great.  If she is going to show you new exercises and better, more efficient ways to get in shape, then she’s your gal.  If you think a personal trainer is your best source for weight loss information, you’re paying the wrong person.

2.  Your physician. I know, I know, they’re saints and geniuses (and many of them are), but their job is to heal people who are ill or broken not to teach you how to lose weight. I get it, it’s easy, you’re seeing him anyway about your bunions so you may as well have him tell you what you need to do to lose weight.  Besides, your insurance will PAY for you to see the doctor and may not pay for your visits to the dietitian.  When it comes to weight loss, your doctor knows all of the ways that being overweight is bad for your health, she may be able to prescribe a medicine that might help you lose weight and she most certainly knows how many calories it takes to lose one pound.  But she won’t be able to help you the way a dietitian can.

A doctor doesn’t have the time (and often doesn’t have the interest, otherwise he’d have become a dietitian!) to learn about your typical diet, educate you on how weight loss happens, set goals for making changes in your diet and help motivate you to lose weight. Know this, if your doctor says, “You’ve gotta get this weight off or you’re going to die young.  Cut back your diet to 1200 calories per day,” he may be speaking the plain truth, but it doesn’t provide the framework or support for real, sustained weight loss. Doctors provide medical care, dietitians provide nutrition care.

3.  A Life Coach. If you need a mentor and someone to help you brainstorm, then a life coach with a solid background may be able to help you, but if you need someone to provide sound nutritional advice, he’s probably not your go-to guy.

4.  The Weight Watchers Meeting Leader. As far as weight loss programs go, Weight Watchers is reasonable and sensible, but their leaders are trained to know about Weight Watchers products, the points system, how the scale works and what worked for them when THEY lost weight.  I heard a Weight Watchers leader give the advice, “Every time I eat a bite of anything I shouldn’t eat, I count it as one point regardless of how many points it really had.”  REALLY?  So that turns a 6 point candybar into a 20 point candybar because I took 20 bites of it.  They have good intentions, but their training is in Weight Watchers, not in weight loss or nutrition.  (Same goes for Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc.)

And what if you need a tool that isn’t in the garage?  You can borrow it from my husband or you can rent it from Home Depot.  But seriously, what if you need more help than a dietitian?

I do nutritional “counseling” but my area of expertise ends when you stop talking about food and start talking about your marital stress, your childhood trauma, your son’s school problems or your history with depression.  As long as we’re talking about food, I am the one for you, but when the issues get bigger (and often times for people with emotional eating issues or people who consistently eat more than they want the issues are more substantial), it’s time to send in another player.  You can still talk to me and we can unravel those food problems, but when those food problems start to get figured out and we start to see that the food problem has to do with an emotional problem, you can chat with your therapist about it.

If you’re looking to lose weight, get in touch with a dietitian who specializes in it.  It’s what we love to do, it’s what we’re good at doing and it’s what we’re trained to do. Physicians, personal trainers and weight loss meeting leaders all have their skills, but teaching you and motivating you about weight loss aren’t necessarily on their tool belt.

Know this:  if you’ve got a long row to hoe, don’t use a snow shovel.

May you be happy and healthy,

Regan

1.  Women’s magazines.  When I’m in a “good” place, women’s magazines may have new exercise and healthy meal ideas, but when I’m not feeling my best or when I’m a little down on myself, they’re not a motivator.  If I’m PMS-ing or having a stressful day/week/month, sometimes seeing a 17 year old model lifting 5 pound weights does not inspire me to health.  Sometimes the airbrushed, unattainable “beauty” is a major downer and I need to put it aside until or if I want to read it.

2.  ”Skinny”  or “goal” clothes.  These are almost always a bad idea to keep trying to squeeze into as a way to measure your progress.  I’ve found that retaining water, being sick or not getting as much activity as I’d like will change clothing size by one or two sizes so I have blue jeans in a couple of sizes.  When I’ve gained a little weight those smaller size pants can be depressing if they’re my goal.  I don’t keep them at the top of the drawer as an “inspiration.”  I have to remind myself that they’re just clothes and I look to other motivators (how I feel, if I’ve been achieving other goals) so that not fitting into a certain pair of jeans doesn’t derail me.

3.  ”Goal” photos.  Maybe it’s an old picture of you when you were at your ideal weight or maybe it’s a clipping from a magazine of a celebrity whose body you admire, either way it might not be inspiring, it might just be depressing.  I’ve read magazines that suggest putting up a photo on your bathroom mirror or on your refrigerator to motivate you.  If it does light a fire under you, go for it.  For me, though, it tends to remind me of what I’m not and what I may never be, and even more important, what may not be realistic or healthy.

4.  Unrealistic goals.  So you have an aerobics instructor whose got six pack abs and 15% body fat.  Yippee for her.  It doesn’t need to be your goal, and probably shouldn’t be.  Aim for a healthy BMI and healthy body fat percentage (8-24% for men and 21-35% for women).  Unattainable goals are, well, the definition of setting you up for failure!  Set realistic, healthy goals for yourself so that you’re not starting out already defeated.

5.  A cupboard full of “diet” food. Making healthy choices and permanent changes is the goal of all this, right?  Skipping the Froot Loops in favor of whole grain cereal with skim milk is a healthy change you can probably stick with.  But having ONLY Lean Cuisines, Weight Watchers cupcakes and South Beach snacks doesn’t sound appealing and is no way to live the rest of your life.  Remember, when you’re trying to lose weight you CAN eat regular food.  Have smaller portions, add more fruits and vegetables (they take up lots of space in your belly but aren’t very calorie dense).  Lean Cuisine can be a handy lunch option when you’re short on time, but if that’s all you eat, you’re going to feel deprived (and bloated from all that salt!)

May you be happy and healthy,

Regan

First, is it just a common cold?  If you don’t have a fever or body aches and it’s “neck up,” it’s probably just a cold.  When you’ve got the common cold, it’s a good idea and it’s safe for you to get out and do some moderate activity.  I know, you really don’t feel like it today, but revving up your body’s furnace may help fight off the infection and getting moving will make you feel better.  Some people with a cold will still do some vigorous exercise, but it’s not my thing.  If your body is accustomed to a 7 minute mile for an hour, an10 minute mile for 40 minutes is still reining it in, so it’s probably fine.

What about food?  Eat what feels good, eat enough and try to get plenty of fruits, vegetables and water.  Much of what our bodies need to heal themselves comes from the food we eat.  What about chicken noodle soup?  Warm liquid feels good, it’s easy to eat and can help us feel better.

What if you’ve got something nastier than the cold?  Influenza, bronchitis or even pneumonia?  Stay in bed, drink plenty of fluids and eat enough food.  (And think about getting a flu shot next season.)  As your fever goes away and you’re finally feeling strong enough to walk a bit, you can take a leisurely ten minute stroll, but be kind and patient with your body as it heals.

Sometimes the hardest part is restarting your exercise and weight loss routine that isn’t yet a habit.  What inspires you to want to lose weight?  Is there a friend who is supporting you?  Does reading one certain blog (hint, hint) help you get motivated?  Do reading fitness magazines get you thinking about exercise and believing you can do it?  Maybe having accountability to a personal trainer or dietitian will help you focus after you’re well enough to resume your weight loss plan.

At this point you know that for weight loss to be permanent, it has to be part of your lifestyle.  Unfortunately illness will be part of your life and you’ll have to see it as the little bump in the road that it is, not a giant wall stopping your progress.  Find a way over that bump, FIGURE IT OUT.  It’s worth it, it’s important to you and it’s what you need to do to take care of yourself.

May you be happy…and healthy,

Regan

The only thing wackier than the content in many women’s magazines are the advertisements.  While on the treadclimber at the gym this morning, I came across a doozy.  At first it seems rather innocuous.  It’s not telling you to DIET, I mean, we all know that’s a load of malarkey at this point, right?  It’s a plan.  A plan of yucky, processed, sweetened “food,” if I do say so myself, but it never, ever claims to be a diet.  It just promises “a healthier you” by helping you lose up to 6 pounds in 2 weeks.  So, in Being Victorious and Taking the Special K Challenge, what does it promise you?

What it promises:  Triumphing over my sweet tooth

What it implies: If you embark on their challenge, you will no longer want food that is sweet.  You will no longer enjoy a cupcake and chocolate will be a thing of the past.  Once you have conquered that bad, bad sugar demon, your weight loss issues will be a thing of the past.

What I say: Did you know that we are born liking two tastes?  Salty and sweet. Think about it, mother’s milk is, well, milk.  And milk has sugar.  The other thing is that our bodies use the flavor “sweet” to tell us something is safe to eat.  (Red berries, sweet? Safe.  Red berries, bitter?  Unsafe.)  Your preference for sweet tasting food will never go away.  You may develop an affinity for berries, oranges and peaches as you choose more fruit to incorporate into your diet.  You may even prefer those flavors.  But you’ll never lose your sweet tooth.

What else I say: You will overcome your “sweet tooth” by, wait, no, it can’t be, BY EATING THEIR SWEET FOOD.  Fine, next…

What else it promises:  Banishing my sweatpants

What it implies: That you shouldn’t own comfortable clothing that is both attractive and well fitting.  And also that only “fat” people wear sweatpants.

What I say: Don’t wait to be your “perfect” weight to own clothes that are attractive and fit you.  You’ll be miserable, uncomfortable and you’ll look like you’re stuck in a sausage casing.  (An unattractive look if you’re a size 6 or a size 18.)  You don’t need to buy a whole new wardrobe, but invest in a couple of nice outfits that, even if you don’t feel pretty or “hot,” you still feel comfortable at a business meeting, going out to dinner or going to church.

What else I say: It’s OK to own sweatpants.  I find them much more comfortable to walk four miles in than say, four inch heels and a pencil skirt.  I know, now I just sound ludicrous.

What else they promise:  Celebrating me

What it implies:  You’re not worth celebrating if you’re not a size 2 like the model named Zoe from Austin.  Yes, she is a size two.  And she’s also 16 years old, is really named Svetlana and is from Ukraine, has had no children, has been made up, posed, airbrushed and told to “Hold it riiiiiight there, suck in just a tad, lean over to make your waist look smaller, ok, now SMILE!”

What I say:  Your weight is not who you are.  It is one small part of how you look.  You may have a disproportionate fat to lean ratio, but you also have pretty blue eyes, wonderful hair, legs that carry you, a belly that carried your children, fantastic hands, sexy calves, a spectacular sense of humor and kindness that warms everyone around you.

You’re still worthy of everything this world has to offer even if you’re not your ideal weight.

This company, and many others like it, makes money by making you feel bad (you must be bad if you like sweet food and wear sweatpants) and then selling you something to fix that badness in you.  It breaks my heart and makes me angry.  You must also understand that these companies survive because they have repeat customers.  That means that their products don’t work.  I understand that it may be a bad business model, but I want my clients to be successful!

You will find your path to successful weight loss, but it won’t be because of the Special K Challenge.  You’ll find it as you achieve goals, make peace with yourself and find ways to make healthy eating and physical activity a regular part of your life.

May you be happy, healthy and able to see through the baloney,

Regan

Most of the time New Year’s resolutions don’t take hold.  People make them and are done with them by February, if not sooner.  My story is one of success, and possibly hope.  Eight years ago I set a goal. You can call it a New Year’s resolution because I started in January, but it was a goal.  No, it was a decision.  I weighed over 220 pounds and just knew I didn’t want another year to pass when I would look back and say, “If I’d just started this last year, think of where I’d be.”  What was different for me that time?

What made it stick?

How did I lose 80+ pounds?

1.  I made a decision.  Perhaps that sounds simplistic, but a conscious decision is quite different from a longing, a yearning, an “I-wish-it-were-different” thought.  A decision requires action and a decision changes things.

2.  I did research.  I wanted to know HOW a human being actually loses weight.  I needed to know what ACTUALLY, TRULY needed to be done.  I learned that 3500 calories equals one pound.  I sought out information about how many calories I would use doing different activities.  I learned how many calories it took my body to function.  I learned that (because I was over two hundred pounds) eating 1200 calories per day like the magazines said was probably NOT going to work for me.  I did my own math and figured out what I would need to make a deficit of 500-1000 calories per day.

3.  I kept track of every single thing I put in my mouth.  I measured every portion size (yowzers, that’s what a portion size of ice cream is?)  I wrote it all down.  I used Weight Watchers to keep track of points.  (Same thing as calorie counting, just a different method. It worked for me.)  I didn’t attend meetings.  I didn’t like them.  I got tired of keeping track of every single thing I ate.  It was annoying, it was tiresome and I felt totally obsessed.  I had faith that it would change, that my new way of eating would become my permanent way of eating.  It did and the need to be hyper-vigilant went away.  I also started to trust my body and its signals to tell me I was hungry or not hungry.  I didn’t even know bodies did that.

4.  I ate within my calorie needs.  Except when I didn’t.  I went on vacations, I went out to dinner, I ate fast food, I spent time with friends.  There were many times when I ate more calories than my body needed, but MOST of the time I ate fewer calories than I needed.  So, by eating fewer calories than my body needed on MOST days, I could eat about what my body needed on other days and still lose weight.

5.  I ate what I wanted to eat.  If it was something that was quite high calorie, I ate less.  I learned that a cheeseburger Happy Meal is a reasonable meal for an adult.  I’d eat half a piece of cake, I’d eat only the top of the sundae because the soft serve ice cream without any toppings wasn’t worth the calories.

6.  I started exercising, but slowly.  Other times I had tried I ended up sore and sick.  (Too much exercise inhibits our immune systems.  The right amount keeps us healthy.)  Half hour to forty five minutes a day was good for several months.

7.  I increased activity everywhere else.  I stopped being as “lazy” around my house.  I looked for places to be active.  I did things I’d normally ask my husband to do.  I parked far away at the store. (Still do.  My car doesn’t have any dings.)  My house got cleaner, my dog got walked.

8.  I exercised in the morning.  I am NOT a morning person, but I found that the only excuse I had in the  morning was that I was sleepy.  By midday, I could find a jillion other things to do with my time.  Morning exercise became a habit.

9.  I added more exercise.  I hired a personal trainer to show me what to do.  I found out I had to lift heavy weight and be sore.  I was motivated enough to do it on my own, so he’d give me an exercise routine and I’d do it for a few months and I’d go back for an update.  I didn’t feel stupid working out in the free weights section anymore because I knew what I was doing.  I felt comfortable because I learned that I was on the right track.

10.  I decided that no matter how much I weighed, I was still valuable, lovable and attractive.  I accepted myself at 223 pounds.  I just knew, I KNEW that if I wasn’t all right with ME, it didn’t matter how much I weighed.

11.  I went to therapy.  I didn’t go to therapy to lose weight, I went to therapy to talk, to figure out why I was unhappy.  I’ve got to be honest, I don’t have a clue why I was unhappy, but I know that after being honest and working through relatively minor things that I held onto like a drowning man clings to a life vest, I was happier.  I was content. After I had been in therapy, I decided it would be all right for me to lose weight.  I learned it was just fine if men found me attractive.

12.  I grieved a little.  Now I recognize that all I was giving up was the feeling of being overstuffed and miserable, but at the time I really thought some of my happiness was tied to what I ate.  Salty, high fat food in enormous portions was like a bad boyfriend that I loved too much, but I knew I should give up for the kind of guy your mom would approve of.  I still love food.  I mean, I LOVE food, but we have a healthier relationship.  I have other “friends” like going for a walk, being able to run (I used to have dreams of running!) and being able to buy the clothes I want to wear.

13.  I kept at it.  I never, ever, EVER believed that I had “blown” my diet.  Quite simply, I wasn’t on a diet, I was living my life.  I never allowed myself to “throw in the towel” because it wasn’t an option since I knew I would keep at it until I got it right.  There were times when  I would be a little frustrated that I had devoured many Ruffles with French onion dip, but I knew that I would do it again.  I knew that if this was going to be for the rest of my life, I was going to have to figure out what I would give up (much fast food) and what I would not give up (Ruffles with French onion dip.  Though now those chips and dip are only part of my life 3 or 4 times a year, not once a week.)

14.  I learned, on my own, what the book “Intuitive Eating” talks about.  I learned to honor my hunger, I learned to shut off the “food police” voice inside my head, I saw food as pleasure but also as sustenance.  I removed some of the power that food had.  I never punished myself and I never berated myself.

15.  I decided that I would be as kind to myself as I would be to a friend, a stranger or a lost puppy.  And I suppose in many was I was all of those things.

I don’t expect other people’s experiences or reasons for being overweight or ways to lose weight to be like mine.  I honor all people’s experiences and only hope I can provide the professional, science based knowledge that I have, along with my compassion and empathy for what many of you are going through.

May you be happy, healthy and find your path,

Regan

1.  Don’t be extreme with exercise. Just because your neighbor/husband/sister runs for exercise doesn’t mean you have to.  You can walk.  You can do yoga.  You can swim. Someone told you that running was a great way to burn tons and tons of calories so you’ve decided that you’re going run 4 miles per day?  Bad idea.  If you’re not a runner, it’s not realistic for you to start running 20 miles per week.  Try walking 10-15 miles per week (depending on your fitness level).  If you are already moderately active, try running on two days for thirty minutes each time.  START SLOW to avoid injury and burn out.

2.  Don’t be extreme with food.  I know, I know, you want to get rid of the 6 pounds you “found” from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day.  I also know you’ve heard not to go below 1200 calories per day.  Not going below 1200 calories per day is great advice (if I do say so myself) but there’s nothing magic about 1200 calories as a daily goal for calorie intake.  If you need 2000 calories per day, you’re still going to lose weight if you eat less than you need.  If you eat 1600 calories, you’ll still lose almost a pound a week and you’ll still be able to eat food you enjoy eating and you won’t be starving.  Click on the “Weight Loss Basics” tab on this website for a link to a calculator to determine your calorie needs and for plain and simple weight loss information.

3.  Don’t get frustrated if weight loss is fast the first week and then stops or slows the next. I don’t know about you, but the cheese and crackers and salted cashews and ham were all delicious during the holidays, but they have left me b-l-o-a-t-e-d, bloated.   Too much sodium (salt) tells our bodies to hang onto the water and when we start eating normally again (oatmeal for breakfast instead of that decadent eggs benedict) our bodies will get rid of the excess water.  So if you lose 3-4 pounds that first week, remember that you’ve probably really lost 1-2 pounds of real weight and shed another 1-2 pounds of water weight.  Don’t expect to keep losing that quickly and don’t get frustrated WHEN you don’t.

4.  Don’t get suckered in by a get-thin-quick scheme.  They don’t work, end of story.  Yes, your cousin’s sister’s friend’s daughter may have lost 50 pounds on the ridiculous HCG diet, but that’s because it’s a starvation diet.  If you eat only 400 calories a day, you will lose weight but also become malnourished and fatigued.  Real, sustainable weight loss comes from  making life changes you can keep forever.  Let me know when your cousin’s sister’s friend’s daughter gains it all back.  Your 20 pound weight loss will still be with you and her 50 pounds will have settled in nicely along with her slowed metabolism.

5.  Don’t go to the gym if you hate going to the gym. There are other ways to get physical activity.  You can go for a walk, you can go to a yoga studio, you can start riding your bike. The gym membership only works if you’re willing and able to make it part of your lifestyle.

6.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help at the gym.  Hiring a personal trainer to show you how to use the machines could be a very valuable investment.  It may help you feel less self conscious and keep you on the right track.  Yes, it’s OK to hire a trainer to SHOW you what to do.  You don’t have to buy 15 sessions.  If you’re motivated and all you need is an exercise program, be sure that’s all you buy.

7.  This is kind of a weird one, but don’t forget to wash your hands at the gym! There’s a couple things happening here.  First, when we exercise a LOT we lower our bodies’ ability to fight off infection (moderate exercise is an immunity booster, but going WAY beyond what we’re used to makes our immune system less effective.)  Second, the machines at most fitness clubs are FILTHY.  Don’t touch your eyes or your nose, wash your hands with soap and warm water.  Yes, it’s better than the hand sanitizer, but if that’s all you’ve got, use the hand sanitizer.  If you’re sick, it’s really hard to maintain those healthy changes you’re making.

Remember, weight loss does require changes in your lifestyle that may be uncomfortable at first.  But you shouldn’t be in horrible pain and you shouldn’t be miserably uncomfortable. Misery for 30 seconds on the spin bike?  Fine, you can sustain that, but lifelong changes must be sustainable.  If you must have a piece of chocolate to get through the day, have a piece of chocolate.  Even if you must have a Coca Cola and aren’t ready to give it up or switch to diet, trade a 32 oz for a 12 oz.  You’re still heading in the right direction.

May you be happy, healthy and sensible,

Regan