Bull, uh, crap
The only thing wackier than the content in many women’s magazines are the advertisements. While on the treadclimber at the gym this morning, I came across a doozy. At first it seems rather innocuous. It’s not telling you to DIET, I mean, we all know that’s a load of malarkey at this point, right? It’s a plan. A plan of yucky, processed, sweetened “food,” if I do say so myself, but it never, ever claims to be a diet. It just promises “a healthier you” by helping you lose up to 6 pounds in 2 weeks. So, in Being Victorious and Taking the Special K Challenge, what does it promise you?
What it promises: Triumphing over my sweet tooth
What it implies: If you embark on their challenge, you will no longer want food that is sweet. You will no longer enjoy a cupcake and chocolate will be a thing of the past. Once you have conquered that bad, bad sugar demon, your weight loss issues will be a thing of the past.
What I say: Did you know that we are born liking two tastes? Salty and sweet. Think about it, mother’s milk is, well, milk. And milk has sugar. The other thing is that our bodies use the flavor “sweet” to tell us something is safe to eat. (Red berries, sweet? Safe. Red berries, bitter? Unsafe.) Your preference for sweet tasting food will never go away. You may develop an affinity for berries, oranges and peaches as you choose more fruit to incorporate into your diet. You may even prefer those flavors. But you’ll never lose your sweet tooth.
What else I say: You will overcome your “sweet tooth” by, wait, no, it can’t be, BY EATING THEIR SWEET FOOD. Fine, next…
What else it promises: Banishing my sweatpants
What it implies: That you shouldn’t own comfortable clothing that is both attractive and well fitting. And also that only “fat” people wear sweatpants.
What I say: Don’t wait to be your “perfect” weight to own clothes that are attractive and fit you. You’ll be miserable, uncomfortable and you’ll look like you’re stuck in a sausage casing. (An unattractive look if you’re a size 6 or a size 18.) You don’t need to buy a whole new wardrobe, but invest in a couple of nice outfits that, even if you don’t feel pretty or “hot,” you still feel comfortable at a business meeting, going out to dinner or going to church.
What else I say: It’s OK to own sweatpants. I find them much more comfortable to walk four miles in than say, four inch heels and a pencil skirt. I know, now I just sound ludicrous.
What else they promise: Celebrating me
What it implies: You’re not worth celebrating if you’re not a size 2 like the model named Zoe from Austin. Yes, she is a size two. And she’s also 16 years old, is really named Svetlana and is from Ukraine, has had no children, has been made up, posed, airbrushed and told to “Hold it riiiiiight there, suck in just a tad, lean over to make your waist look smaller, ok, now SMILE!”
What I say: Your weight is not who you are. It is one small part of how you look. You may have a disproportionate fat to lean ratio, but you also have pretty blue eyes, wonderful hair, legs that carry you, a belly that carried your children, fantastic hands, sexy calves, a spectacular sense of humor and kindness that warms everyone around you.
You’re still worthy of everything this world has to offer even if you’re not your ideal weight.
This company, and many others like it, makes money by making you feel bad (you must be bad if you like sweet food and wear sweatpants) and then selling you something to fix that badness in you. It breaks my heart and makes me angry. You must also understand that these companies survive because they have repeat customers. That means that their products don’t work. I understand that it may be a bad business model, but I want my clients to be successful!
You will find your path to successful weight loss, but it won’t be because of the Special K Challenge. You’ll find it as you achieve goals, make peace with yourself and find ways to make healthy eating and physical activity a regular part of your life.
May you be happy, healthy and able to see through the baloney,
Regan
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